Episode 52: Same-Sex Attraction and the Catholic Church

When it comes to the topic of same sex-attraction, the Church has, unfortunately, often been seen as unforgiving, even harsh, in its teachings and attitude towards persons with this condition.

Sadly, we must admit there have been members of the Church who have made hurtful comments and shown scant regard for the true dignity of these, our brothers and sisters who too are made in the image and likeness of God, and called to the same greatness, to live out that image of authentic love, as all of us are called to.

As a result, many have failed to understand what the Church has truly taught, and continues to teach, in this area. Indeed, many perceive that the Church actually condemns those with same-sex attraction. Nothing is further from the truth!

On the contrary, the Catechism tells us:

“They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity.
Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” (CCC 2358)

The Image of God

What can we, as Catholic parents, share with our children about what the Church actually teaches on this topic?

If we think about it, the whole teaching is really about the basics of our Catechism:

1. We can only judge the morality of actions, we do not judge persons;
2. Every human person is good, very good, being made in the image and likeness of God; and
3. Sexual relations are meaningful and good, but only when within the context of marriage. Why?
   Because, as the Catechism tells us, “Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman.” (CCC 2360)
   Because it is only in that conjugal love, in that complementary union of the husband’s body and his wife’s body, that we can see more clearly an image of Trinitarian love, a love which is free, total, faithful and fruitful. In that sense, the Church’s teaching is not a “no” to human love, but a big “yes” to human love in the divine plan.

Seen in this proper light, therefore, any sexual activity outside of marriage between a man and a woman is outside the right order, or in a sense “disordered”, since that will “annul the rich symbolism and meaning, not to mention the goals, of the Creator’s… design” for sex. [i] Examples include premarital sex, extramarital sex, incestuous sex, and sexual activity between members of the same sex, among others.

After all, all of us are called to holiness and chastity, which is the virtue that enables us to love as God loves, in and through our bodies, according to the state of life we are in, whether we are married, engaged or single. It is not just for those with same-sex attraction.

Is chastity easy? Certainly not! As the Catechism tells us, it “is a long and exacting work”, and “it presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life.” (CCC 2342) I can certainly vouch for that. As I have often shared with my wife, it is a constant struggle. But if it is any consolation, it does get better and easier over time with practice. Obviously, we always need God’s grace and each other’s support to pull us through this.

Christlike Compassion

What then should our attitude be towards our brothers and sisters with same-sex attraction? The answer lies in the following questions we must ask ourselves: “Are we Jesus to them? Do we love as Jesus loves?”

What should we do?

1.     We accord them the true dignity and love due to every person, since they too are made in the image and likeness of God; and therefore
2.     We journey with them as best as we can. Every person has a unique story to share with us, if only we would stop and listen, not just with our ears, but also with our hearts. Have we taken the time and effort to listen to their pains and sorrows? Their joys, their hopes, their aspirations? Do we share their cross with them? Or do we make it heavier? Popular speaker and author Jason Evert said something to this effect: “We must not regard each person as a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be loved.”

Besides walking with them as Jesus would, we may want to refer them to a spiritual director or group that can help them on the way, faithful always to the truth of who God is and who we are, and thus faithful to the teachings of the Church. After all, “departure from the Church’s teaching… in an effort to provide pastoral care is neither caring nor pastoral.” (#15) [ii]

In this respect I am referring to Courage, an organisation that has responded to the Church’s call to “assist homosexual persons at all levels of the spiritual life: through the sacraments, and in particular through the frequent and sincere use of the sacrament of Reconciliation, through prayer, witness, counsel and individual care.” [iii]

Conclusion

Allow me to end with a quote from the Vatican’s letter to the bishops of the Catholic Church on the pastoral care of homosexual persons:

“The human person, made in the image and likeness of God, can hardly be adequately described by a reductionist reference to his or her sexual orientation. Everyone living on the face of the earth has personal problems and difficulties, but challenges to growth, strengths, talents and gifts as well.

Today, the Church provides a badly needed context for the care of the human person when she refuses to consider the person solely as a ‘heterosexual’ or a ‘homosexual’, and insists that every person has a fundamental identity: the creature of God, and by grace, his child and heir to eternal life.”

~~~

[i]  Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, 1 October 1986.
[ii] Ibid.
[iii] Ibid.