Episode 36: The Attraction and Impact of the Digital World

Our new mini-series is on helping our children manage the digital world. We cannot deny that the advent of the internet has certainly brought about much good. Yet, many of us are also acutely aware of the dangers that come along with it. If not managed, these dangers that lurk in the digital world can cause much harm indeed to our children and our families.

Seeking Transcendentals

But why are we so attracted to the digital world? Whether it is Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, or gaming, or movies? We want to check on the latest news of what is happening in the world as well as what is happening in other people’s lives around us.

We want to do good by fighting the bad guys and saving the world in the games that we play, we like to watch movies where good triumph over evil, and we are always enthralled by beauty that we see in various forms of media, beauty that we hear in music (in games and yes, even Baby Shark, which I have listened to countless times with our grandchildren), and beauty that we see in various aspects of nature, whether it is a double rainbow, a glorious sunrise or sunset, and so on.

Why are we so attracted to these? I would suggest that it is because, deep down inside each and every one of us, we are looking for what is true, what is good and what is beautiful. We are looking for God, Who is absolute truth, beauty and goodness.

Mental Health Woes

Then how did things become so bad with issues such as pornography, gaming addiction, even depression and poor self-worth from the overuse of social media? Studies have linked the use of social media to depression, anxiety, poorer sleep quality, lower self-esteem, inattention, and hyperactivity — often in teens and adolescents.

In one survey of respondents aged 16 to 24 years old, between 79 to 86% said that social media affected their happiness, self-esteem, anxiety, loneliness, and depression.

What went wrong? For one, our desires, when rightly ordered, should direct ourselves to God. But because of our human weakness, we tend to misdirect our desires. Instead of seeing the human body as a wondrous image of God and a call to communion, a call to love as God loves in a gift of self, we tend to lust and use others’ bodies for our own gratification.

Secondly, while it may not be wrong to participate in social media and gaming by themselves, the lack of virtues such as temperance and prudence can result in our spending  far too much time in these areas, to the neglect of others.

Thirdly, all of us need affirmation of our goodness, being made in the image and likeness of God. If our children do not get enough of this in the right way from us, they will start looking for it elsewhere, and sometimes unfortunately, in all the wrong places and in all the wrong faces. Sometimes it might even result in them posting compromising pictures of themselves, being subjected to sexual grooming and abuse, and even becoming victims of cyberbullying. The list can go on. And it is unlikely to get any better with the advent of the Metaverse.

Finally, it is a fact that social media platforms are designed to be addictive. They are designed by experts who know how to get users hooked. The bottom line for them is this — the more users are hooked onto their platforms and games, the more money they generate.

Many tech executives know that. In fact, it has been reported that tech moguls like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates seldom let their kids play with the very products they helped create. Even the CEOs of Snapchat and Google’s parent company have been reported to significantly limit their children’s screen time.

Tackling the Issue

What can we do when faced with this predicament that is the digital world?

For a start, the last thing we should ever do is to stick our head in the sand, pretending that nothing is amiss, and hoping that bad things will just pass our children by. The digital world is a reality that is here to stay. As parents, we must take it by its horns and manage it in a way that makes it a good servant. Otherwise, it will turn out to be the nastiest master we will ever know.

With that, we begin our journey into managing the digital world. In the next episode, we will share the foundations for engaging our children and helping them on this journey in managing the digital world. Following that, we will cover topics including screen time, accountability, pornography, sexting and more.