Episode 33: Should I Let My Child Attend Sex Ed Classes in School?

Sex education is quite ubiquitous in many school systems today. One of the commonly asked questions that many parents wrestle with is this: should I let my children attend these in school? Or should I just rely on the catechism classes in church to do the job? Or should we simply be the ones to teach it at home?

It is not an easy topic to address. My wife and I struggled with this. In the process, we asked ourselves many questions, such as:

1. What exactly is being taught in the sex education classes in school?
2. What is the main emphasis in these classes?
3. What do we want our child to learn?
4. Will our child feel left out of place if he or she is the odd one out who does not attend those classes? And has to spend that time alone in the library or some other place. Will that make him or her feel isolated? Teens can be very sensitive about this.
5. Most important of all, what role do we see ourselves playing in all this?

Opening Up Discussion

On our part, my wife and I gave permission for our teens to attend these classes in school, based on the following points which arose from our discussions with them:

1. At that time abstinence was emphasised as the best and encouraged option, and that it was important to build strong interpersonal relationships at that point of their lives, rather than getting sexually active.
2. We agreed that they would share with us whatever they learned in these classes, so that we could discuss these and continue their formation in this area at home. So even though they did learn about condom use, we were able to share with them its actual effectiveness as well as other aspects of sexuality, including chastity, modesty, what sex was for, who we would reserve it for — that is, our spouse in marriage — and so on.
3. Besides not wanting them to feel left out at school, we thought it was an opportunity for them to attend these classes so that they could engage in useful discussions with their peers after that.

Personal Decision

So, should you let your child attend sex education classes in school?

Obviously, I will not and cannot provide any straightforward answers to these questions. Each of us will have to gather whatever information we can, discern and pray about it as parents, speak with our teens, sharing with them our viewpoints and seeking their input as well, and then make a decision, preferably — much preferably — with them.

Of course, if the main message of the sex education classes in school remains abstinence-based, it would make it easier to say yes to it. But what if this is not the case?

Ultimately, we as parents will have to make a decision based on the principles outlined earlier.

Whatever our decision may be, this important fact remains: as parents, we are, and must remain, the primary formators of our children in this area of sexuality education, and indeed all aspects of our children’s development and formation. This role cannot be outsourced. It must not.